Oh no

Crap. It’s happening again.

I’ve been stuck at this bloody presentation for the past 7hours. I just want to get this over and done with and get a good night sleep.

At this point, I can’t wake up early in the morning to complete this. I’m pretty certain I wont be able to wake up on time.

I honestly have no mood to do anything.

I feel like everything I do or goes on in my head, is left unfinished. Including my thoughts.

Once in a while I get a feeling. High. Everything is in order and I get so many great ideas and I just keep thinking and getting excited over them and stuff. But this feeling doesn’t last. As with any high theres a low waiting on the other side.

I have a bunch of posts I wrote when I was feeling that high, many of which are currently in the drafts. I think I have about 6-7 unfinished posts sitting in the drafts.

I don’t get it, why is it that when things are going well, i don’t necessarily document it down? Sigh

Anyway. It’s a no bones day. It’s a low day. It’s an I can’t seem to do my work day. Staring at this screen for so long hoping that I’ll just do it. But i can’t. I don’t know how to explain it. I think I’m overthinking this too much. Usually when that happens I can’t seem to move forward. I need it to be perfect.

*screams internally*

Omfg just do it.

———-

*Update*

I honestly don’t know why but I’m usually productive between 12am – 3am. This has been going on since… Idk. Uni was like this for every single assignment. I’m not kidding. It really affected me during that period. Id spent about 8hours staring into the screen only to get about an hour or two of actual work done. Oh I’ll shit myself if I keep this up for masters. I think I might break down.

Anyway I finally managed to do up the slides and it’s 3am. Ok so I didn’t exactly finish it. I have 1 more slide and final touch ups. So I felt like yea, I can head to bed without fear 😂 Probably gotta wake up at 7am to finish it up and prepare myself for the 9am presentation 🥲

I think the hardest part is trying to brief a new team about something even you yourself are not completely familiar with. Also the IT technical jargon ?? I don’t know man I don’t know. Also briefing to the head of that dept? Bye. Haha. I don’t have the full history man. I joined when phase 4 was complete and I’ve literally been trying to push phase 5 since the beginning of this year or was it last year? Maybe this year. But yea covid-19 is out here ruining everyone’s plans as usual.

Ok bye goodnight