Report and preinterview jitters

-Submitted FYP report to supervisor ( like finally)First draft was due on 18th Dec but he gave us time till 2nd of Jan to complete. Which we obviously failed to meet the deadline. Then he gave us another chance and said hey submit it next week. Which we again, failed to fulfill. SIGHLASIGH

So report is due the day after tomorrow and we finally sent him the nearly final copy. Why nearly final you ask? wait who are you? oh psh that’s right, no one reads my blog :’) Anyway, it’s nearly final as we still have the references and citations to add in, and the lit review well, hmm i feel like adding a lil more stuff to it to well make it a bit more ‘colourful’.

Feels like a big burden is off my shoulders…JK

– I have a job interview at NUS tomorrow OMG. Why did I even sign up for it?! oh wait I know why, I doubted myself for even being given a chance to get interviewed.Why? Cause I suck. Well I don’t, my grades do. So what the hell I shall just give it a shot. BOOM. Emails after emails regarding CV blabla and finally the professor is gonna interview me tomorrow. I honestly just wanted a job to keep me occupied. But a research assistant would keep me more than occupied. My brain would prolly be fried. Sigh and the mundane tasks. SO NOT MY THING. Having second thoughts. :(:( double emoticon. those are some strong emotions going on.

Anyway IF i get the job, which i wont, I’d be a whole new experience. You know what they say, even bad experience is some experience. So i shall follow my motto and #bepositive. did i just hashtag on wordpress hoyes i did. it’s my thing yall.

So now I’m cramming all the data. Orchids, viruses, plants, DNA, shit, more shit. yup. It’s currently 12:39am. YAY TO MORE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS TO COME.




Hobbit was awesome. Had to go to the toilet halfway though cause i totally forgot that it was a 3hr movie and thus didnt go earlier. but hey even if i went earlier id prolly wanna go again cause all i had the whole day was liquids.So the Hobbit, loved the movie. Love the adventures and stuff like it makes me want to be a part of it. Makes me sad that there are no such things as dwarves and elves and dragons. man. what a boring world we live in.

Anyway Kili is like the hottest dwarf.Could’t stop staring whenever he came on screen. heh dem eyes were so memorizing. Truth. And that tauriel elven girl was gorgeous omg. Legolas of course how can i forget my mancrush from LOTR. damn he still looks so fine 10 years later. Anyway I thought it kidna funny how smaug decided to have a chat with bilbo instead of just breathing fire and killing him instantly. oh wait but he’s the main character. right. of course he cant be killed. DUH. hahaha.

Well basically i loved it. Ended off with smaug going to destroy the village.

Let me direct the last installment.

Bilbo will get the arkenstone.

Bard will shoot the smaug with the black arrow at like the last 5 mins of the 3hr long 3rd part.

Prolly a dwarf would die. I mean someone has to die to get that emotional impact. IT BETTER NOT BE KILI.

They lived happily ever after the end.

OK so the thing is, I told my parents that i had fyp to do in school. which was a lie.

What i actually did was, meet up with ma home girl kilz and she bought stuff for her camp.and then I went to meet another friend of mine. We went to watch the hobbit.heh honestly i wish i couldve spent more time with him after the movie piggin out as I was hungry as fuck( mind you i only had 2 gong chas) but alas i had a gathering to attend to. I wish i wasn’t so awkward. I wish i did things differently. Wish I was more lively hahahh well fyp stress uh spoiler.

Ok hope we’d go out soon again so i can totally catch up on his life and stuff like that.

Oh well.

shall try my best to update this blog throughout the year

oh did i mention I’m gonna make a memory jar this year? hehehhe

I BETTER. I totally want a jar full of goodies to read in 2015. 🙂


New Year

Ok so it’s the new year again. 2014.

A new chapter of my life.


To be the best version of myself.

So anyway, on 31st, i had fun i guess. Every year my relatives hold a gathering. EVERYYEAR since 1999. wow. I’ve been going there for 13years(first went in 2000 heh). Anyway it’s basically a gathering of family relatives and some friends i guess. 10 years ago, I would have been thrilled and eagerly waiting for the party. But this year, no. no way. I’m 19 man. I needa go out and have some fun. Maybe watch some fireworks and just chilling with my niggas I swear there was only one other teenager other than me. 1.1.1. friggin 1. Sigh. Guess all the other kids that came for the party kinda ‘graduated’. And there i was. Stuck. Thank god I had my sis with me oh and my friend the the other Basically the party was a flop. I mean alot of families didnt show up. Bet they had better things to do. ehem.maybewatchfireworks. So yea. Bunch of oldies and babies and the teen,my sis and I. Well initially we just sat at a table alone. Then like 10 mins later the babies joined us. Ok maybe they’re not actual babies but they are to me lol one of them being my cousin, is way taller than me and she’s only 11 homaigod. So we played murderer and police. oh thank god cause I didnt have to move from my seat. All I had to do was either blink or die. So we played that then had some chicken satay then some other food the aunties prepared. Not much choices this year man. What a let down. Even the food didnt cheer me up D’: Anyway tried to be a nice sis and get my sis a drink and guess what happend? the stupid gassy assed shit of a bottle just fizzed the damn drink all ova ma bodeh. My new shirt cardigan and jeans. But wait there’s more. MY HAIR MY FUCKING HAIR. UGH. Anywho i was a sticky as hell throughout the night. Which made me want to leave the place more.

There was something that made me laugh though :’D Drunk man. Add a word and ya get drunk indian man. hohoho so much entertainment i cant contain. So the master piece was on it near the toilet. It was pitch black by the way. The whole place is so ulu. The toilets were secluded and well i kinda needed to be away for a while so me and my sis justwent there to ‘explore’ the place. AND tada came the man. Dressed all smart and shit. He saw a pole and started swaying from it with one hand and started saying stuff to himself. so funny omg should’ve taken a video dammit. HAHA well. Sigh. Now that i think about it, it is kinda sad that this was the only happening scene for me.

So i was there stuck while somewhere in SG, the wanted were performing 😥 oh well caught parts of their performance on an old TV that was at the farm. oh did i forget to mention that this whole event was in a fish farm?  A FISH FARM. WHAAAA. yea. Don’t ask.

The countdown. Oh dear lord the countdown was the worst ever. It’s was already after 12 when they realised. So the poppers and the spray cans were a tad too late. But oh well the day finally came to an end with everyone hugging and wishing one another a happy new year.


What if?

What if I had cancer?

What if I was in the terminal stage?

What if I only have months/weeks to live?

What would I do?

What would you do?

Will I be able to pull myself together to tell my loved ones?

Will I be able to spend time and say my goodbyes to my loved ones?

Will I be able to deal with it?

Will my loved ones be able to deal with it?


Would I spend my every waking hour thinking about a life I could’ve had?

Or would I spend my every waking hour getting the life I could’ve had?

Would I feel sad/depressed/lonely?

Or would I feel happy/loved by everyone around me?


Should I tell my friends?

Or should I keep it a secret?




I realise i like to kill myself a lot.